i am not a reliable narrator
i’m not a reliable narrator
my labido goes up and then placid
with every horoscope i never see
i have schizophrenia and bpd and
sometimes i think about typing out
facebook messages
in my sleep and am sure i sent them out
when i didn’t really
i don’t hear voices
not now anyways but
i miss them like
the remainder of a space rock on earth
misses being an asteroid burning up
in the atmosphere
i miss my power dynamics with
terrible delusions that bring me to
praying position
because orgasms are no longer my god and
the sacrilege holy spirit is all i need
i am borrowing it now from christianity
like they appropriated from the paganism
eons before my youth
i am tarnished with labidinal moods and
being turned on by sweet strangers
instead of steady sweethearts
i do not do what my heart
says all the time though
so maybe i can beg back an iota of credibility
i don’t flirt with my neighbor
but have no lying face so
my attraction came through this week
often i dont know with attraction
if i want to fuck
marry
or kill because internally
it is all three baby
baby it ain’t me and
joan beaz sang it right
i won’t fix your problems with a poem
not tomorrow
not tonight and
this is for the days i experience
every major emotion in less than twelve hours
i will choose fuck
marry
or kill
every person who thinks being
a highly sensitive person is a superpower
i want to feel serenity with medium
ups and crevices
but my higher power
must have put me
a dog in a pound
favorable reincarnation my ass
so crass that it can’t be a lullaby
just an unreliable narrator
popping in to say hello and goodbye